{"id":813,"date":"2015-04-15T12:19:54","date_gmt":"2015-04-15T06:49:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abhinav.spsdarj.org\/?p=813"},"modified":"2016-01-14T23:03:44","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T17:33:44","slug":"what-are-the-most-difficult-and-useful-things-people-have-to-learn-in-their-20s-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/04\/what-are-the-most-difficult-and-useful-things-people-have-to-learn-in-their-20s-2\/","title":{"rendered":"What are the most difficult and useful things people have to learn in their 20s?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Answer by Elarie Mashi:<\/p>\n

Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Roman\u2019s Rules for Success, Happiness, and an Awesome Life<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Never get more than 9 hours of sleep, or less than 3. <\/b>I believe in adequate rest, but too much sleep wasting time that could be spent on anything from self-edification to world domination.<\/li>\n
  2. It\u2019s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission<\/b>.<\/li>\n
  3. Stretch your hip flexors. <\/b>They hate you, and are staging a rebellion against your posture; the only way to quell the uprising is with daily stretches.<\/li>\n
  4. Write it down.<\/b> Your memory is shit.<\/li>\n
  5. Get your clothes tailored. <\/b>A 200-dollar suit that fits well looks better than a 500-dollar suit that doesn\u2019t.<\/li>\n
  6. Show love. <\/b>Never, ever, ever<\/i> hold back from giving a compliment, as long as it\u2019s sincere. There\u2019s never a bad time to say something nice; get in the habit of doing this. People will love you for it.<\/li>\n
  7. Give credit.<\/b> Don\u2019t steal other people\u2019s shit. If you got an idea from someone else, drop their name and throw them a link. Do this even if it\u2019s not proprietary. Especially in the fitness industry.<\/li>\n
  8. On cologne:<\/b> less is more, if you buy the good stuff. Have a scent for day and night.
    [[Roman\u2019s Note<\/b>: This rule was added when I was 24, and also included \u201chave a scent for each girl you\u2019re dating.\u201d I have no idea what my logic was, but the entire thing was probably as stupid as it sounds. I felt the need to edit this rule because while I still think it\u2019s important to have a few scents, I don\u2019t think one for each person you\u2019re dating is necessary. In any event, now that I\u2019m a one-woman man, I rotate my scents only seasonally, so as not to confuse her.]]<\/li>\n
  9. Nobody gives a shit about your SAT score. <\/b>Or, really, any other accomplishment older than two years. If you feel the need to work this into conversation, you need to become more interesting. (See Rule 34.)<\/li>\n
  10. If a girl hasn\u2019t seen <\/b>Star Wars<\/i><\/b>, don\u2019t bother dating her.<\/b><\/li>\n
  11. You\u2019re <\/b>allowed<\/i><\/b> to say no to shit you don\u2019t like<\/b>. I don\u2019t generally believe in the idea of \u201cobligation.\u201d While there are things you \u201cprobably should\u201d do, there is almost nothing you \u201cneed\u201d to do. If I don\u2019t like something, I will very rarely agree to do it. I have said \u201cno\u201d to everything you can imagine.For example, I no longer attend holidays with my extended family; I just don\u2019t enjoy it (too much fighting), so I don\u2019t go. Does my family complain? Sure. Do they try to make me feel guilty? Absolutely. Do I cave in? Fuck no.If you don\u2019t like something, take a careful assessment of what going will cost you, and what it can do for you. If there\u2019s no amount of \u201cgoodwill\u201d that will make it seem like a good balance, don\u2019t do it.<\/li>\n
  12. Do something you hate.<\/b> Do it every day for 30 days. Then never do it again.<\/li>\n
  13. \u201cDon\u2019t criticize an idea unless you\u2019re willing to provide an alternative.\u201d <\/b>– Momma Roman.  If you don\u2019t have a better suggestion, shut the fuck up. [[Roman\u2019s Note<\/b>: I find this is especially useful for trying to pick a restaurant.]]<\/li>\n
  14. Don\u2019t date a woman with another man\u2019s name tattooed on her body.<\/b> The presence of such a thing implies one of two issues: unfinished business, or a tendency to make irrational decisions. Neither of these is worth dealing with.<\/li>\n
  15. Never play cards with a guy who has a city in is nickname. <\/b>Miami John, the Cincinnati Kid, Texas Dolly\u2014all dudes better to avoid.<\/li>\n
  16. Don\u2019t judge what people do in the bedroom.<\/b> As long as it\u2019s consensual and not with underage kids, make the effort to simply not care where they put their junk, including with what type of people, or how many people, or in what way they do it. Chances are, their porn browsing history is no more fucked up than yours.<\/li>\n
  17. Try not to have enemies<\/b>.  But if someone insists on making themselves one, eat their fucking heart.<\/li>\n
  18. Sun\u2019s out, guns out.<\/b><\/li>\n
  19. Use semi-colons; however, use them correctly.<\/b>Personally, I view the semi-colon to be an indicator of good writing; while this is a gross overstatement strongly influenced by personal bias, I stand by it.<\/li>\n
  20. THIS<\/b>:\n
    <\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  21. At least once in your life, get absolutely shredded. <\/b><\/li>\n
  22. Buy the jeans that make your ass look the nicest.<\/b> This is the only rule that applies for jeans. End of story. Thankfully, it\u2019s not always the expensive ones; Levi\u2019s fit me like a (very tight) glove. Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n
  23. If a girl cheats on you, fuck her sister.<\/b> Or her best friend. Or her worst enemy. Or all three. Ladies, same applies to you.[[Roman\u2019s Note<\/b>: Yeah, I\u2019ve done this, and no, I don\u2019t really care how terrible or shallow it makes me seem, because I certainly think it evened us right up.]]<\/li>\n
  24. The high five is somewhat outdated<\/b>. However, we\u2019ll have to continue to use it until a suitable replacement is found.<\/li>\n
  25. Train your forearms.<\/b><\/li>\n
  26. Never tell someone you \u201cdon\u2019t own a TV.\u201d<\/b> That kind of condescending, elitist bullshit makes you look like an asshole. You don\u2019t have to own a TV, or watch it\u2014just don\u2019t say<\/i> that. Also, be aware what\u2019s on it; having a general understanding of pop-culture is fairly necessary for successful conversation, unless you\u2019re speaking exclusively to other condescending, elitist assholes.<\/li>\n
  27. Always be the first to reach for the check.<\/b> Do this even if the other person invited you out. If they put up a strong fight, let\u2019em have it.<\/li>\n
  28. Finding a sports team to hate is as important as finding one to love.<\/b> And probably more satisfying.<\/li>\n
  29. Network Like a FIEND. <\/b>Tim likes to say, \u201cYour network is your net-worth.\u201d While he\u2019s not wrong, I prefer to say that your network is more like a Dungeons & Dragons adventuring party. In D&D, a balanced party will have characters that can deal with everything from magic to picking locks. In life, you can\u2019t be good at everything<\/i>\u2014but you can<\/i> find people who are good at what you\u2019re not. Develop your network so that you can always reach out to experts when you need help\u2014and more importantly, can leverage that network to help others.<\/li>\n
  30. Ice cream is the perfect second date food<\/b>.<\/li>\n
  31. A man can never have too many leather jackets<\/b>.  Some make you look dashing, some make you look dangerous. The right leather jacket adds a masculine edge to any outfit, and can be appropriate for most situations.<\/li>\n
  32. Try <\/b>everything<\/i><\/b>.<\/b>Try every training program and every diet. But when you try them, go full out and commit for the appropriate length; program hopping isn\u2019t a good idea. A complete lack of direction is almost as bad as dogma.I covered this in this video<\/a><\/span> for SuperTraining.TV<\/a><\/span>.<\/li>\n
  33. Answer all insults with a smile.<\/b> Not everyone is going to like you, and some people will be vocal about it. There\u2019s no point giving them the satisfaction of giving a shit.<\/li>\n
  34. If someone doesn\u2019t like dogs for a reason other than fear or allergies, I\u2019m simply not interested.<\/b><\/li>\n
  35. Read as many books as you can.<\/b> Reading often makes you more interesting, more intelligent, and though I can\u2019t prove this, I suspect a more useful human being. It also makes you a better writer.<\/li>\n
  36. There are many things that cannot be taught, but nothing that can\u2019t be learned. <\/b>I generally advise seeking out experts for coaching; however, there are things that you simply need to learn from experience.<\/li>\n
  37. Deadlift<\/b>. Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n
  38. \u201cWasting\u201d food is not a sin.<\/b> You don\u2019t need<\/i> to clean your plate. Eating past the point of being full isn\u2019t going to make starving kids in third world countries any less hungry. If you want to help, make a donation.<\/li>\n
  39. Along the same lines, buy your cheat day foods <\/b>on<\/i><\/b> your cheat day. <\/b>Throw out whatever you have left over. No need to court disaster.<\/li>\n
  40. It\u2019s not the years in your life; it\u2019s the life in your years.<\/b>Don\u2019t listen to arguments on lifestyle based on longevity. For me, living a life fully of quality<\/i> years is by far more important than making sure I have a higher total quantity <\/b>of them. I quantify that quality by feelings of enjoying my food, loving the way I look, and achieving my goals.Perhaps I should have been a rock star instead of a fitness professional, but to be honest, I really don\u2019t give a shit if your method adds 10 years to my life if it makes me small, fat, and weak. I don\u2019t want to live ONE DAY in that condition, let alone an \u201cextra\u201d decade.I\u2019ll continue to keep my weights heavy, my steaks rare, and even enjoy the occasional night out. To quote Neil Young, \u201cit\u2019s better to burn out than fade away.\u201d<\/li>\n
  41. Admit your mistakes with honesty <\/b>and<\/i><\/b> humor<\/b>. I find that \u201coh, fuckballs,I\u2019m the worst\u201d is a pretty good entry point for most things.<\/li>\n
  42. Get really good at being bad at stuff<\/b>. I covered this in this video<\/a><\/span>.<\/li>\n
  43. Keep 100 bucks stashed away in your car for emergencies<\/b>. Cause ya nevah know.<\/li>\n
  44. Develop a signature toast.<\/b> I\u2019m experimenting with mine. In the meantime, whenever my friends and I raise our glasses, I intone, \u201cOurs is the Fury.\u201d These are the words of House Baratheon, which I am using as a placeholder until I develop my own.<\/li>\n
  45. Don\u2019t trust spell check<\/b>. I\u2019ve learned this the hard way.<\/li>\n
  46. Scared Money Don\u2019t Make Money. <\/b>This is an old saying that is common in the poker world, which is another way of saying \u201cfortune favors the bold.\u201d In that context, if you aren\u2019t willing to put your money in on a coin flip gamble from time to time, you\u2019re not going to book a big Win Resources and Information. This website is for sale!<\/a><\/span> the context of both life and business, I mean that if you\u2019re never willing to take a risk, you have almost no shot of building anything worth mentioning. There are no statues built to those who lived lives of mediocrity, and on the tomb of NO heroes will you find the words, \u201che played it safe.\u201d<\/li>\n
  47. As it turns out, women are right:<\/b> wearing nice underwear does make you feel better.  Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n
  48. Learn how to cook.<\/b> If you\u2019re approaching 30 and you can\u2019t make a few meals, take the next month and learn. Seriously, time to grow the fuck up it. You should be able to feed yourself. It\u2019s a basic human function. Here\u2019s acookbook<\/a><\/span> to get you started.[[Roman\u2019s Note<\/b>: I don\u2019t make this recommendation blindly. You can check out my foray into cooking here<\/a><\/span>.]]<\/li>\n
  49. Tip generously outrageously<\/b>. Not because you have a lot of money, or because of the 1% chance a waitress might give you her number; but because at some point this week, some jerk stiffed her, and it ruined her week. You just fixed it. Karma will be kind.<\/li>\n
  50. Floss your teeth for better fitness. <\/b>I feel that you need to have the basics down before you start in adding things intended for \u2018advanced\u2019 reasons. I have friends who don\u2019t floss but go out of their way to use whitening strips or see a dentist for teeth bleaching. This is stupid, to me\u2014if you just took care of your teeth on a daily basis, you\u2019d have to worry a bit Page on less.in<\/a><\/span> the fitness context, people ignore basic nutritional needs, but try crash diets or supplements; they can\u2019t take the time to foam roll, but want the hottest training strategy.If you can\u2019t make a habit of flossing your teeth, you shouldn\u2019t bother with supplements\u2014likely, you don\u2019t have the basics figured out.<\/li>\n
  51. Everything in moderation\u2026especially moderation<\/b>.<\/li>\n
  52. Resolve conflicts quickly, privately, and without anger.<\/b>Throwing a tantrum never did anything for anyone; getting angry and sputtering hurts your cause, anyway. As for privately\u2014in the world of the interwebz, better to resolve things with one person than start slinging mud.<\/li>\n
  53. Get really, <\/b>really<\/i><\/b> good at making introductions<\/b>. When you introduce two people, use first and last names; then take moment to explain how you know each, and end by giving each a compliment.  If it\u2019s a business introduction, make a suggestion on how you think they might help one another. In-person and email intros are important.<\/li>\n
  54. Once in your life\u2014and <\/b>exactly<\/i><\/b>, only once\u2014ball the fuck out.<\/b> Get bottle service in a club in the Meat Packing District, or a cabana in Vegas. Realize how stupid it was, and don\u2019t do it again. Read about my experiencehere<\/a><\/span>.<\/li>\n
  55. Take the lead. <\/b>Always suggest days and times to meet, instead of leaving it in the air.<\/li>\n
  56. \u201cIf you\u2019re gonna write a book, write a fuckin\u2019 book.\u201d<\/b> \u2013 Tim Ferriss. Anything worth doing is worth doing right; go after it and do the absolute best job you can. Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n
  57. When explaining your dietary habits, keep it simple<\/b>. If you find yourself at a party and you\u2019re 15 minutes into describing the difference between Paleo and Slow Carb, take a breath and stop talking. No one really cares about your endeavor to reset your insulin sensitivity.<\/li>\n
  58. There is no such thing a multi-purpose sock.<\/b> Athletic socks should be worn with sneakers, and no other shoe. Ever. Dress socks when training is equally unreasonable.<\/li>\n
  59. Learn to <\/b>ask<\/i><\/b> for the things you want. <\/b>People aren\u2019t mind readers. Whether in a relationship or in business, you are responsible for your success and happiness. No one is going to magically figure out what you want. Ask for it and make a strong case\u2014you\u2019ll be absolutely floored by the response.<\/li>\n
  60. Try not to roll your eyes.<\/b> Hey, I said TRY<\/i>. Don\u2019t judge me.<\/li>\n
  61. Don\u2019t own a lot of <\/b>things<\/i><\/b>. Except books.<\/li>\n
  62. Steak should be served medium rare at most<\/b>. If you eat a steak medium well, you are not good at eating steak<\/i>. Check here a blog on why rare steak isn\u2019t bad for you<\/a><\/span>.<\/li>\n
  63. Use your sex drive as a general measure of health, as it indicates hormonal balance<\/b>. Low sex drive is a symptom of everything from depression to low testosterone to over-training. Basically, if you don\u2019t want to get freaky, something is probably wrong.<\/li>\n
  64. Don\u2019t kiss on the first date<\/b>.<\/li>\n
  65. End <\/b>every<\/i><\/b> single conversation by asking, \u201cSo, tell me: how can I help you?\u201d <\/b>Be sincere and mean this. Help however you can. This is the most important rule of all.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Source: Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater<\/a><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    What are the most difficult and useful things people have to learn in their 20s?<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Answer by Elarie Mashi: Roman's 65 Rules for Success – The Daily Dater Roman\u2019s Rules for Success, Happiness, and an Awesome Life Never get more than 9 hours of sleep, or less than 3. I believe in adequate rest, but too much sleep wasting time that could be spent on anything from self-edification to world…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,203],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stuff","category-travel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4KGvB-d7","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":507,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/08\/inspirational-quotes\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":0},"title":"Inspirational Quotes","author":"Abhinav","date":"August 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all of the facts. Far better is it to dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to make rank with those poor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Quote"","block_context":{"text":"Quote","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/motivate\/quote-motivate\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":681,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/how-did-mark-zuckerberg-train-himself-to-be-a-programming-prodigy\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":1},"title":"How did Mark Zuckerberg train himself to be a programming prodigy?","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Mike Hughes: Just because Mark started Facebook doesn't mean he is a programming prodigy. Mark's major was Pyschology so he wasn't at Harvard as a CompSci prodigy. Back in 2004 building a CRUD (Create, Read, Update, Delete) application in PHP\/MySQL was fairly easy. I would bet if you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Knowledge"","block_context":{"text":"Knowledge","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/knowledge\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":695,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/what-are-some-of-the-best-ideas-to-make-your-mood-better-if-you-feel-lonely\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":2},"title":"What are some of the best ideas to make your mood better if you feel lonely?","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Christopher Reiss: Go for a walk.\u00a0\u00a0 Make sure you have 5 one dollar bills. I anoint you : Patron Saint of the Lonely. Your mission is to go relieve the loneliness of others.\u00a0\u00a0 If you see a homeless person, stop.\u00a0\u00a0 Give them a dollar and apologize that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Poems","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":683,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/which-credit-cards-do-millionaires-possess\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":3},"title":"Which credit cards do millionaires possess?","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Kyle Murao: I'm not sure if this one-ups David's answer, but I can say that it is certifiably available only to millionaires. Ladies & gentlemen, the J.P.Morgan Palladium Card: It's got your name laser-etched into it, rather than printed on those mere bourgeois plastic cards in raised lettering.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Knowledge"","block_context":{"text":"Knowledge","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/knowledge\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":709,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/beautiful-poetry-quotes\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":4},"title":"Beautiful Poetry Quotes","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"To my Dear and Loving husband\"If ever two were one, then surely we.If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;If ever wife was happy in a man,Compare with me, ye women, if you can.I prize thy love more than whole mines of goldOr all the riches that the East\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Poems","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1179,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/09\/what-is-the-most-ridiculous-thing-that-you-have-ever-convinced-someone-to-believe\/","url_meta":{"origin":813,"position":5},"title":"What is the most ridiculous thing that you have ever convinced someone to believe?","author":"Abhinav","date":"September 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"What is the most ridiculous thing that you have ever convinced someone to believe? by @tellmeyourgoalAnswer by Steven Matt:This is a true story that involves Donald Trump, the Dalai Lama, and a doorman.It was September 2003. 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