{"id":870,"date":"2016-01-14T20:43:30","date_gmt":"2016-01-14T15:13:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abhinav.spsdarj.org\/?p=870"},"modified":"2016-01-14T22:28:40","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T16:58:40","slug":"whole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/01\/whole\/","title":{"rendered":"Whole"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

oh!<\/strong><\/h1>\n<\/header>\n

sorry if I woke you<\/strong><\/p>\n

she says upon discovery of the slumbering silver psyche<\/p>\n

yaaaawn
\n\u2026hey\u2026
\nwhat\u2019s a pretty little thing like you
\ndoing way down here?<\/em><\/p>\n

I have a hole<\/strong><\/p>\n

a hole?<\/em><\/p>\n

a hole<\/strong><\/p>\n

may I see?<\/em><\/p>\n

right here<\/strong><\/p>\n

she points to her chest<\/p>\n

doesn\u2019t that hurt?<\/em><\/p>\n

a little<\/strong><\/p>\n

come here
\nlet me look at you<\/em><\/p>\n

she tiptoes towards him tacitly<\/p>\n

darling, you\u2019re bleeding!<\/em><\/p>\n

yeah, it\u2019s been doing that for a while now
\nall of my clothes are ruined<\/strong><\/p>\n

he reviews her jagged curves<\/p>\n

oh
\nI thought you were dressed in red
\nyou wear it too well<\/em><\/p>\n

glassy drops drip over her painted body
\nweaving glossy trails of existence
\nmingling with the sticky diluted colour
\nwarm and painted wet<\/p>\n

who did this to you?<\/em><\/p>\n

I did<\/strong><\/p>\n

she shuffles her feet
\neyes fall to the floor<\/p>\n

dearest, who did this to you?<\/em><\/p>\n

he moistens a cloud white cloth
\nas he directs her to the washroom<\/p>\n

I did<\/strong><\/p>\n

why would you do such a thing
\nto yourself?<\/em><\/p>\n

he begins drawing an ivory bath
\nwith water so clear and sparkling<\/p>\n

I wanted to see<\/strong><\/p>\n

see what?<\/em><\/p>\n

if I could feel<\/strong><\/p>\n

she scratches a fingernail into her arm
\nrevealing a sliver of her milky ghost<\/p>\n

do you mind?<\/em><\/p>\n

he extends his arm
\nmildly enveloping her dripping hand in his
\na last wave of emotion rolls over her
\nwhile she steps gingerly into the tub<\/p>\n

let\u2019s see what we can do<\/em><\/p>\n

he smiles with his eyes
\nwinking them into hers<\/p>\n

why are you helping me?<\/strong><\/p>\n

because I can
\nis that alright?<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to be a burden\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

sweetheart, you\u2019re only a burden to yourself<\/em><\/p>\n

his words sting with burning honesty
\nshe withdraws into herself<\/p>\n

close your eyes
\nI\u2019ll take care of you<\/em><\/p>\n

she pulls away abruptly
\npanic flooding her perception<\/p>\n

how can I trust you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

here<\/em><\/p>\n

he removes each piece of clothing
\nlaying them in a gentle heap at his feet<\/p>\n

is that better?<\/em><\/p>\n

he winces as she examines his naked form
\nsuddenly shy in his voluntary exposure
\nhe turns his head in shame<\/p>\n

I have a hole too, you know<\/em><\/p>\n

you wear it well
\ndid you mend it yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n

yes
\nmany times
\nI have to sew it every day
\nwith a little bone needle and heart strings<\/em><\/p>\n

come here
\nlet me look at you<\/strong><\/p>\n

he enters the bathtub and stands facing her
\nin unison they slip down into the water
\nsitting with torsos and arms above
\nlegs intertwining below<\/p>\n

do you mind?<\/strong><\/p>\n

she begins to pluck at the strings
\nworking them out of his skin
\ntenderly tugging out his past
\npassionately pulling out his memories<\/p>\n

who did this to you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I did<\/em><\/p>\n

she finishes extracting the threads
\nand leans back in confusion<\/p>\n

I know<\/em><\/p>\n

he smooths the cotton cloth around her tattered tear
\nstreaking out a sterling snowstorm
\ndying the warm liquid a swirling scarlet
\nhe warily washes off her past
\ncarefully cleanses off her memories<\/p>\n

I want to give you something
\nyou can do with it what you want<\/em><\/p>\n

she watches closely as he
\ndigs his fingers into his chest
\nleaving the gash gaping
\nfear invades her taciturnity<\/p>\n

how can you trust me?<\/strong><\/p>\n

he nudges open her drooling cavern
\nand sets his heart in her cage<\/p>\n

you found me<\/em><\/p>\n

he snatches a clean heart string
\nsnaps off a new splintered bone<\/p>\n

you saw me<\/em><\/p>\n

she grips the marble sides
\nnow pink with their leaking ichor<\/p>\n

you felt me<\/em><\/p>\n

he threads the imperfect ivory needle
\nand presses it lightly into her skin<\/p>\n

you heard me<\/em><\/p>\n

he stitches her closed
\nsealing it with a kiss<\/p>\n

but I\u2019ve nothing for you\u2026
\nmy heart has gone missing!<\/strong><\/p>\n

no it hasn\u2019t<\/em><\/p>\n

she furrows her brow
\nnew tears
\npure tears
\nescaping<\/p>\n

you gave it to me already<\/em><\/p>\n

he dips her fingers into him<\/p>\n

when you woke me<\/em><\/p>\n

Source<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

oh! sorry if I woke you she says upon discovery of the slumbering silver psyche yaaaawn \u2026hey\u2026 what\u2019s a pretty little thing like you doing way down here? I have a hole a hole? a hole may I see? right here she points to her chest doesn\u2019t that hurt? a little come here let me…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[198],"tags":[110,131,193],"class_list":["post-870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","tag-love","tag-poem","tag-poetry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4KGvB-whole","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":646,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/10\/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-poor\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":0},"title":"What does it feel like to be poor?","author":"Abhinav","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Anonymous: I was born into family of lower middle class .We are two girls and I'm the Elder one.- Dad and his family are against Girls education and career. I was consistently class topper and excelled in many extra-curricular, But always been put down\u00a0 - \" Learn cooking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Quora Post"","block_context":{"text":"Quora Post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/quora-post\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1230,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/12\/did-your-child-ever-hear-you-say-a-word-that-they-now-repeat\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":1},"title":"Did your child ever hear you say a word that they now repeat?","author":"Abhinav","date":"December 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Justin Franco: Poodle. My wife and I use the word poodle as a sort of safe word when we're discussing issues that might force one of us to lie just to make the other happy (we stole it from a Chuck Palahniuk novel). It's a standalone question, \u201cPoodle?\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Quora Post"","block_context":{"text":"Quora Post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/quora-post\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":164,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/01\/date-a-girl-who-reads\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":2},"title":"Date a girl who reads","author":"Abhinav","date":"January 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You should date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life stuff"","block_context":{"text":"Life stuff","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/life-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":858,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/11\/how-does-it-feel-to-have-your-boyfriend-die-at-a-very-young-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":3},"title":"How does it feel to have your boyfriend die at a very young age?","author":"Abhinav","date":"November 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Jitendra Patil:Not boyfriend, My girlfriend (Lets call her \"N\") passed way few years back. She fought very hard to battle Breast Cancer. It was not the death that most bothered me, but the struggle that she went through every single day. The chemotherapy, the radiations, the bone-marrow tests.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reads"","block_context":{"text":"Reads","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/reads\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":709,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/beautiful-poetry-quotes\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":4},"title":"Beautiful Poetry Quotes","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"To my Dear and Loving husband\"If ever two were one, then surely we.If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;If ever wife was happy in a man,Compare with me, ye women, if you can.I prize thy love more than whole mines of goldOr all the riches that the East\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Poems","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":147,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2013\/12\/no-one-picking-up-my-phone\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":5},"title":"no one picking up my phone","author":"Abhinav","date":"December 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Its such a bittersweet world!","rel":"","context":"In "Life stuff"","block_context":{"text":"Life stuff","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/life-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=870"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":871,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870\/revisions\/871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}