{"id":870,"date":"2016-01-14T20:43:30","date_gmt":"2016-01-14T15:13:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abhinav.spsdarj.org\/?p=870"},"modified":"2016-01-14T22:28:40","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T16:58:40","slug":"whole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/01\/whole\/","title":{"rendered":"Whole"},"content":{"rendered":"<header>\n<h1><strong>oh!<\/strong><\/h1>\n<\/header>\n<p><strong>sorry if I woke you<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>she says upon discovery of the slumbering silver psyche<\/p>\n<p><em>yaaaawn<br \/>\n\u2026hey\u2026<br \/>\nwhat\u2019s a pretty little thing like you<br \/>\ndoing way down here?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>I have a hole<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>a hole?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>a hole<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>may I see?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>right here<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>she points to her chest<\/p>\n<p><em>doesn\u2019t that hurt?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>a little<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>come here<br \/>\nlet me look at you<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she tiptoes towards him tacitly<\/p>\n<p><em>darling, you\u2019re bleeding!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>yeah, it\u2019s been doing that for a while now<br \/>\nall of my clothes are ruined<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>he reviews her jagged curves<\/p>\n<p><em>oh<br \/>\nI thought you were dressed in red<br \/>\nyou wear it too well<\/em><\/p>\n<p>glassy drops drip over her painted body<br \/>\nweaving glossy trails of existence<br \/>\nmingling with the sticky diluted colour<br \/>\nwarm and painted wet<\/p>\n<p><em>who did this to you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>I did<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>she shuffles her feet<br \/>\neyes fall to the floor<\/p>\n<p><em>dearest, who did this to you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he moistens a cloud white cloth<br \/>\nas he directs her to the washroom<\/p>\n<p><strong>I did<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>why would you do such a thing<br \/>\nto yourself?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he begins drawing an ivory bath<br \/>\nwith water so clear and sparkling<\/p>\n<p><strong>I wanted to see<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>see what?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>if I could feel<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>she scratches a fingernail into her arm<br \/>\nrevealing a sliver of her milky ghost<\/p>\n<p><em>do you mind?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he extends his arm<br \/>\nmildly enveloping her dripping hand in his<br \/>\na last wave of emotion rolls over her<br \/>\nwhile she steps gingerly into the tub<\/p>\n<p><em>let\u2019s see what we can do<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he smiles with his eyes<br \/>\nwinking them into hers<\/p>\n<p><strong>why are you helping me?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>because I can<br \/>\nis that alright?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>I don\u2019t want to be a burden\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>sweetheart, you\u2019re only a burden to yourself<\/em><\/p>\n<p>his words sting with burning honesty<br \/>\nshe withdraws into herself<\/p>\n<p><em>close your eyes<br \/>\nI\u2019ll take care of you<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she pulls away abruptly<br \/>\npanic flooding her perception<\/p>\n<p><strong>how can I trust you?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>here<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he removes each piece of clothing<br \/>\nlaying them in a gentle heap at his feet<\/p>\n<p><em>is that better?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he winces as she examines his naked form<br \/>\nsuddenly shy in his voluntary exposure<br \/>\nhe turns his head in shame<\/p>\n<p><em>I have a hole too, you know<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>you wear it well<br \/>\ndid you mend it yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>yes<br \/>\nmany times<br \/>\nI have to sew it every day<br \/>\nwith a little bone needle and heart strings<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>come here<br \/>\nlet me look at you<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>he enters the bathtub and stands facing her<br \/>\nin unison they slip down into the water<br \/>\nsitting with torsos and arms above<br \/>\nlegs intertwining below<\/p>\n<p><strong>do you mind?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>she begins to pluck at the strings<br \/>\nworking them out of his skin<br \/>\ntenderly tugging out his past<br \/>\npassionately pulling out his memories<\/p>\n<p><strong>who did this to you?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>I did<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she finishes extracting the threads<br \/>\nand leans back in confusion<\/p>\n<p><em>I know<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he smooths the cotton cloth around her tattered tear<br \/>\nstreaking out a sterling snowstorm<br \/>\ndying the warm liquid a swirling scarlet<br \/>\nhe warily washes off her past<br \/>\ncarefully cleanses off her memories<\/p>\n<p><em>I want to give you something<br \/>\nyou can do with it what you want<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she watches closely as he<br \/>\ndigs his fingers into his chest<br \/>\nleaving the gash gaping<br \/>\nfear invades her taciturnity<\/p>\n<p><strong>how can you trust me?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>he nudges open her drooling cavern<br \/>\nand sets his heart in her cage<\/p>\n<p><em>you found me<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he snatches a clean heart string<br \/>\nsnaps off a new splintered bone<\/p>\n<p><em>you saw me<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she grips the marble sides<br \/>\nnow pink with their leaking ichor<\/p>\n<p><em>you felt me<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he threads the imperfect ivory needle<br \/>\nand presses it lightly into her skin<\/p>\n<p><em>you heard me<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he stitches her closed<br \/>\nsealing it with a kiss<\/p>\n<p><strong>but I\u2019ve nothing for you\u2026<br \/>\nmy heart has gone missing!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>no it hasn\u2019t<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she furrows her brow<br \/>\nnew tears<br \/>\npure tears<br \/>\nescaping<\/p>\n<p><em>you gave it to me already<\/em><\/p>\n<p>he dips her fingers into him<\/p>\n<p><em>when you woke me<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.redbubble.com\/people\/awesner\/writing\/903729-whole\">Source<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>oh! sorry if I woke you she says upon discovery of the slumbering silver psyche yaaaawn \u2026hey\u2026 what\u2019s a pretty little thing like you doing way down here? I have a hole a hole? a hole may I see? right here she points to her chest doesn\u2019t that hurt? a little come here let me&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[198],"tags":[110,131,193],"class_list":["post-870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","tag-love","tag-poem","tag-poetry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4KGvB-whole","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":646,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/10\/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-poor\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":0},"title":"What does it feel like to be poor?","author":"Abhinav","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Anonymous: I was born into family of lower middle class .We are two girls and I'm the Elder one.- Dad and his family are against Girls education and career. I was consistently class topper and excelled in many extra-curricular, But always been put down\u00a0 - \" Learn cooking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Quora Post&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Quora Post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/quora-post\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1230,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/12\/did-your-child-ever-hear-you-say-a-word-that-they-now-repeat\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":1},"title":"Did your child ever hear you say a word that they now repeat?","author":"Abhinav","date":"December 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Justin Franco: Poodle. My wife and I use the word poodle as a sort of safe word when we're discussing issues that might force one of us to lie just to make the other happy (we stole it from a Chuck Palahniuk novel). It's a standalone question, \u201cPoodle?\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Quora Post&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Quora Post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/quora-post\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":821,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/05\/what-is-the-best-short-story-on-hard-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":2},"title":"What is the best short story on hard work?","author":"Abhinav","date":"May 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Rajat Chauhan: A Violinist performed a yet again brilliant concert. After the show, a lady from the audience met him backstage. She said,\"That was amazing, I could give my life to play like you!\" He said,\"Ma'am, I did!\" What is the best short story on hard work?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Motivate&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Motivate","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/motivate\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":164,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/01\/date-a-girl-who-reads\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":3},"title":"Date a girl who reads","author":"Abhinav","date":"January 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You should date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Life stuff&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Life stuff","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/life-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":709,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2015\/02\/beautiful-poetry-quotes\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":4},"title":"Beautiful Poetry Quotes","author":"Abhinav","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"To my Dear and Loving husband\"If ever two were one, then surely we.If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;If ever wife was happy in a man,Compare with me, ye women, if you can.I prize thy love more than whole mines of goldOr all the riches that the East\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poems","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Thrown-in-the-deep.jpg?fit=987%2C646&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":962,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/07\/the-egg-andy-weir\/","url_meta":{"origin":870,"position":5},"title":"The Egg &#8211; Andy Weir","author":"Abhinav","date":"July 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reads&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reads","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/reads\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=870"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":871,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870\/revisions\/871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}