{"id":918,"date":"2016-04-06T12:52:36","date_gmt":"2016-04-06T07:22:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abhinav.spsdarj.org\/?p=918"},"modified":"2016-04-12T19:11:12","modified_gmt":"2016-04-12T13:41:12","slug":"what-was-one-experience-in-your-life-that-hardened-you-as-a-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2016\/04\/what-was-one-experience-in-your-life-that-hardened-you-as-a-person\/","title":{"rendered":"What was one experience in your life that hardened you as a person?"},"content":{"rendered":"

What was one experience in your life that hardened you as a person? by Anonymous<\/p>\n

Answer by Anonymous:<\/p>\n

\n

My father still thinks I am an engineer but am not!<\/b><\/p>\n

Going anonymous for obvious reasons\u2026 and it\u2019s a long story.<\/p>\n

I am from India, a small town 6 hours from Bangalore. My dad is a farmer, had a small piece of land and did his best to educate us. My brother (he is 4 years younger) and I studied in a government school. My dad and mom wanted us to get good education and we worked really hard. After my 12 (PUC); I was hoping to get into engineering \u2013 I got decent marks and secured good rank as well (Engineering Common Entrance Test); after this, I was supposed to travel to Bangalore for Seat Selection (it\u2019s a session conducted by the state government and based on your rank you get to choose colleges). While I could get into a college I wanted, I could not get the stream I wanted (E&C) \u2013 I am from general category and my rank didn\u2019t make it.  <\/p>\n

This was my first time in Bangalore and I was alone (Friends dad accompanied me). I was a little confused and back then we didn\u2019t have mobile phones or even a telephone (at my home) to call home and discuss (my dad is not educated, can barely read would not have had no clue, I was the most educated; but still); during this confusion, I met a man who claimed to be a parent accompanying one of the students. He spoke to me nicely and was advising me on engineering courses, I was happy I found someone knowledgeable.  He also spoke to me about his connections and assured me a seat that I wanted if I was ready to pay a \u2018little extra\u2019 and advised me to let go of what I had.  <\/p>\n

And I did. I also gave him all the marks cards (he wanted that to start the process) and as a token, gave him the money I was carry to pay my fees (INR 3000, about USD 500); I was told the \u2018extra fees\u2019 would be INR 2 Lac (USD 3000)  (one time) and was told to get the money as soon as possible. I was so confident about the decision I made – I went back home and convinced my dad to mortgage the small piece of land he had and get money from a local moneylender. I went back to Bangalore with exactly INR 2 lac and extra 700 for expenses. I met this new friend of mine, and handed over the money to him\u2026<\/p>\n

By now you would know what I had done. I was na\u00efve but arrogant \u2013 a deadly combination which can ruin your life\u2026 The man disappeared\u2026 I lost all my money and all my pride. I didn\u2019t know how to face my dad so I decided not to tell him. I called home and told them that I had been admitted to the college and the courses start immediately (my dad is still na\u00efve and he believed every word I said; he even asked me if I needed more money to buy books). <\/p>\n

After this, I tried to find the man who cheated me (went to all the places I met him; even to a police station; no one helped); after 3 days I was out of money \u2013 I started working in a mess (it\u2019s a kind of eatery); I thought I will work hard and earn back whatever money I had lost.. I did that for 3 years… In another year I was expected to graduate as an engineer; find a good job and help my brother get into engineering\u2026 <\/p>\n

My pay when I started off was 30 rupees a day with food and accommodation and end of 3 years was 50 rupees; I worked 7 days a week and with tips and others could save about 600 rupees a month (+ I saved whatever my dad sent every month for me to buy books and as hostel fees).  End of three years I had saved about 75000 rupees (USD 1200); which was nowhere close to what I had lost. It\u2019s then when a few of my friends helped me to get a job in an event management company (in 2006) with a starting pay of 4500 rupees per month (USD 75)\u2026 I guess that was the turning point… I slogged my ass off for; got promotions and salary hikes regularly (attrition at event management agencies is high so that helped as well). <\/p>\n

Right now, I work as marketing manager for a global MNC (I did complete my Graduation at a night college); got my brother into engineering \u2013 he finished and is working now. I paid back the mortgage and got the land back. So life is good\u2026 But, my dad still thinks I am an engineer (except for my wife). And I hope it remains that way (he is proud and happy).<\/p>\n

So what did I learn\u2026?<\/b><\/p>\n

Bad things happen\u2026 Learn as much as you can<\/p>\n

Accept whatever comes your way… once you accept, life becomes a lot easier and your mind will automatically start finding ways to make best out of the situation. <\/p>\n

Love is a powerful motivator, it can make you do some amazing things to keep someone happy<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t ever give up. Life is too short to whine and cry.  Humans are survivors and you will find a way out.<\/p>\n

Be nice. Sometimes we take people for granted; judge them on work they do or their education. Please don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Lastly, hard work pays. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

What was one experience in your life that hardened you as a person?<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What was one experience in your life that hardened you as a person? by Anonymous Answer by Anonymous: My father still thinks I am an engineer but am not! Going anonymous for obvious reasons\u2026 and it\u2019s a long story. I am from India, a small town 6 hours from Bangalore. My dad is a farmer,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4KGvB-eO","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":646,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/10\/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-poor\/","url_meta":{"origin":918,"position":0},"title":"What does it feel like to be poor?","author":"Abhinav","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Answer by Anonymous: I was born into family of lower middle class .We are two girls and I'm the Elder one.- Dad and his family are against Girls education and career. I was consistently class topper and excelled in many extra-curricular, But always been put down\u00a0 - \" Learn cooking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Quora Post"","block_context":{"text":"Quora Post","link":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/category\/quora-post\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":517,"url":"https:\/\/abhinavkr.com\/musings\/2014\/08\/quoration\/","url_meta":{"origin":918,"position":1},"title":"Quoration","author":"Abhinav","date":"August 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Post by Biju V. 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